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Don't Dream It...Be It

Dear Lady Alice,

It is with a heavy heart that I will have to postpone our phone date.

I started the email to update you on my change of status from a good possibility of developing a two year journey at the bunny ranch and write my book into a holding pattern but a no at this time.

I ran my own business. I fully relate to the hard work it takes to bring in new clients. Then add in the abuse from social media i

I should have stopped there but I am in a hypo-manic episode and I blurred normal human boundaries and jumped over it a little,

And kept on writing

then I crossed the line.

While I am excited to talk with you, the fact is that I have lost my business and much more. the good news i am on the attack. I will improve and heal and regain my prosperity. But I should not have given you the impression that I would be financially able to complete my goal and call you.

My Hypo-mania has led me to some exciting adventures and fantasies, I feel euphoric. But I usually scare people away or hurt them emotionally with my unexpected emotional roller coaster.

I can not in good conscience put a loved one through this roller-coaster. So I stay away from getting close to others.

I thought with you and the other ladies I could spread the burden from one girlfriend experience to three girlfriends experiences with other special guest stars.. This would also help me

to try and see if it is possible that I could have a long term relationship with someone who can empathize with the special powers .

Now I better understand what it means to live with and move forward and grow personally and financially while living with Bi Polar 1 , PTSD and dissociative episodes

So I am on a holding pattern before I can call you.

FOR NOW I thought that I would go onto the personal ads and see if I could become pen pals with men and women. Topic :role-playing and the effects emotionally it has on their personal, psychological and sexual healthy growth. I think that this idea is worth exploring. There is the possibility that it leads me to a podcast. patreon, blog, book, musical and movie. Turning it into money to support my visit with You and the bunny ranch and write another book about my experience, and the special qualities of the ladies at the bunny ranch.

I shall say bye for now. I will continue the struggle and visit with you as soon as possible and to the best of my ability..

Thank you for your kindness and patience.

Surfing Panda


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