Psychotic Breaking Huntington Hospital

BY Surfing Panda

Although my physical body was

in considerable stress,

Kicking and thrashing.

My mind was dancing with Alice and Tiara.

As I yell

“I am Mellow Yellow. “

“Everything is alright.”

“My mind is being reprogrammed.”

I looked over at the officers.

With all the strength I could muster.

I slowly crawled towards the security guards and laid on my back.

My arms stretched to form the image of the cross.

As the security guards surround me

They take their positions

i am filled with fear and unable to escape

As the 12 hands reach out to hold me down.

What little control I had left is now gone.

I let go in the comfort of the 12 hands.

Those hands were not holding me down

a safety measure to keep me from hurting myself or others.

This created a sense of safety…

permission to let go

I would be safe.

As the pain from their hands on me grew

I let my mind go to ecstasy

I let my body go to pain

To a manic ecstasy

a connection between ecstasy and pain

Is revealed.

two days later bruises covered my body.

My loneliness in part a grieving?...

a pain in my soul? ...

a loss...a loss of self?

My true potential?

my voice?,,,